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Subject: Fathers - Fun to be with
Sender: "Fatherhood Foundation" <info@fathersonline.org>
From: "Fatherhood Foundation" <info@fathersonline.org>
Date: Sun, 10 Apr 2005 06:27:50 +1000
To: "Warwick Marsh" <info@ausheart.com.au>
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/td=3E<td width=3D200 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' align=3Dleft nowrap=3E<font class=3D=
'blulink'=3E   Issue No=2E 137-11th April,2005</font=3E</td=3E<td width=3D38=
0 height=3D20 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' align=3Dright nowrap=3E<font class=3D'blul=
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f' nowrap=3E</td=3E<td valign=3Dtop bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' width=3D295=3E<font =
class=3D'text'=3E<table cellpadding=3D0 cellspacing=3D0 border=3D0=3E<tr=3E<=
td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D=
'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Ge=
neric/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#=
anchor1'=3EWelcome to fathersonline=2Eorg</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E=
<td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D=
'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Ge=
neric/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#=
anchor2'=3EGrandfathers</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E<=
/td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebos=
web=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/orangebulle=
t=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor3'=3EBeing =
There</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E=
<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/emai=
l=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<=
td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor4'=3ELaughter</a=3E</font=3E</=
td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3D=
top=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fat=
hers/template1/Generic/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'tex=
t'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor5'=3ESpecial Feature</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E=
<td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D=
'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Ge=
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anchor6'=3ESingle dads</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E</=
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=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor7'=3EThought=
 for the Week</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</tr=
=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2E=
au/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E<=
/td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor8'=3ENews & Info</a=3E<=
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1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/te=
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a href=3D'#anchor10'=3EMission Statement & Help Us!</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</t=
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=3D24 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E</td=3E<td width=3D1 bgcolor=3D'#999999' =
nowrap=3E</td=3E</tr=3E</table=3E<table border=3D0 cellpadding=3D0 cellspaci=
ng=3D0 width=3D597=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 bgcolor=3D'#999999' nowrap rowspan=3D=
19=3E</td=3E<td width=3D595 height=3D2 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'htt=
p://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generi=
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Welcome to fathersonline=2Eorg</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=
=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fbla=
st/client=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue137-11th April,2005=5FFamily fun 3=5Fjpg=2E=
jpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E Dear Warwick,<BR=3E<BR=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana s=
ize=3D2=3E<P=3E</P=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E=
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N: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt'=3E</SPAN=3E</=
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MILY: Verdana'=3EIt=92s always fascinating reading about what other people h=
ave accomplished in life=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3E=
Sam Walton, the founder of Wal-Mart was the richest man in <=3Fxml:namespace=
 prefix =3D st1 ns =3D 'urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags' /=3E<st1=
:country-region w:st=3D'on'=3E<st1:place w:st=3D'on'=3EAmerica</st1:place=3E=
</st1:country-region=3E when he died in 1992 at the age of 74=2E<SPAN style=3D=
'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EHe started Wal-Mart in 1962, so in forty =
years he had revolutionised retailing in America, received the Medal of Free=
dom and built the foundation of the, soon to be named, biggest company in th=
e world=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EWhatever you thin=
k of Wal-Mart (and there are certainly many critics), to set the pattern of =
growth for the biggest company in the world is certainly a great achievement=
=2E<=3Fxml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =3D 'urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:o=
ffice' /=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MA=
RGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E=A0</o:p=3E=
</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN=
 style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3EThe interesting thing about Sam Walton is =
that he was also a great father and family man=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun=
: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EIt is comparatively easy to make a million dollars and=
 lose your family relationships in the process through overwork and neglect,=
 but to build the biggest company in the world and sustain a close family si=
multaneously is very rare=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3E=
How did Sam Walton do this=3F<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPla=
inText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E=
<o:p=3E=A0</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0c=
m 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3EIn order to find this ou=
t we must turn to Chapter 5 =96 Raising a Family, in Sam Walton=92s autobiog=
raphy, Made in <st1:country-region w:st=3D'on'=3E<st1:place w:st=3D'on'=3EAm=
erica</st1:place=3E</st1:country-region=3E, Bantam Books, 1993=2E<SPAN style=
=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3ESam and Helen had three boys and one d=
aughter=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3ESam=92s parents h=
ad been very good at quarrelling so Sam set out from the start to promote a =
sense of togetherness=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EAmi=
dst Sam=92s busy life, he always tried to be home on Friday nights so that h=
e would not miss his children=92s sporting games=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacer=
un: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EHis children worked in his store and also worked at =
their own paper runs=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EIn S=
am=92s words, =93We taught them the value of work!=94<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D=
'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E=A0</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlai=
nText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E=
Sam and Helen also taught their children the value of fun=2E<SPAN style=3D'm=
so-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EEvery year, in the early years they would a=
ll pack into the family station wagon and go camping all over America=2E<SPA=
N style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EThey often had family votes abo=
ut what they did and Sam Walton, in spite of being a very driven man, was no=
t prone to being too pushy with his family=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: ye=
s'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3ETo quote him verbatim, =93One thing I never did =96 which =
I=92m really proud of =96 was to push any of my kids too hard=94, and yet he=
 sure was able to challenge them=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 <=
/SPAN=3EJohn Walton said, =93I remember asking Dad for permission to climb a=
 bluff overlooking the <st1:place w:st=3D'on'=3E<st1:PlaceName w:st=3D'on'=3E=
Buffalo</st1:PlaceName=3E <st1:PlaceType w:st=3D'on'=3ERiver</st1:PlaceType=3E=
</st1:place=3E=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EHe said, =93=
Do anything you=92re big enough to do=94=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=
=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EWhat an exhilarating challenge of judgement and confidence b=
ooster for a 12 year old=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3E=
Later, when I was a young man trying to find my way in the world, he gave me=
 an open invitation to join the Wal-Mart team but never a hint of pressure=2E=
<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EWhat a wonderful way to gro=
w up=2E=94<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MAR=
GIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E=A0</o:p=3E=
</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN=
 style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3EAlice Walton, the youngest child, said, =93=
You know it=92s interesting=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=
=3EI know Dad worked incredible hours, and I know he travelled a lot, but I =
never really felt like he was gone much=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=
=A0 </SPAN=3EHe went out of his way to spend time with us, and he was fun to=
 be with=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EHe loved to play=
 basketball with us=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EI tag=
ged along with him on his trips a good bit, and I still visit stores because=
 of it=2E=94<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'M=
ARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E=A0</o:p=
=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<S=
PAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3EFrom these excerpts and stories you get=
 a picture of a man who was a servant leader for his family, who respected h=
is children and was fun to be with=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0=
 </SPAN=3EMany of these character traits became the foundation stones for Wa=
l-Mart=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EOne might argue th=
at Wal-Mart has strayed away from these foundational principals over the yea=
rs=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EIt seems that =91stray=
ing=92 is part of the human condition=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=
=A0 </SPAN=3EThe good news is that all Sam=92s children turned out pretty we=
ll=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: =
0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E=A0</o:p=3E</SP=
AN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN sty=
le=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<STRONG=3ELovework<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</STRONG=3E</=
SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN s=
tyle=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E=A0</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3D=
MsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Ver=
dana'=3EBe inspired by Sam Walton=92s pattern of greatness and be fun to be =
with=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPA=
N=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN styl=
e=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3ERemember life is too short not to have fun!<o:p=
=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0=
pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E=A0</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E=
<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-=
FAMILY: Verdana'=3EYours for being fun to be with<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=
=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<st1:City w:st=3D=
'on'=3E<st1:place w:st=3D'on'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3EWarwi=
ck</SPAN=3E</st1:place=3E</st1:City=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E=
 Marsh<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0c=
m 0cm 0pt'=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E=A0</P=3E<=
P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F</P=3E<P=3E=
<P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=
=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3EWarwick Marsh=A0=A0=
has been married=A0to Alison for=A029 years=2E He is the father of five chil=
dren, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 24 years to=A012 years=2E=A0=
 Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to=
 think he can still laugh at himself=2E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P=3E</P=3E<P=3E</P=3E=
</FONT=3E</FONT=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D=
'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</block=
quote=3E</td=3E<td width=3D1 bgcolor=3D#999999 nowrap rowspan=3D19=3E</td=3E=
</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E<img s=
rc=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/templat=
e1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 h=
eight=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/=
email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E=
<p=3E<font size=3D'3' face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif' color=3D=
black=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor2'=3E</a=3E<b=3EGrandfathers</b=3E</font=3E<f=
ont face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2E=
bosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue137-11th Apri=
l,2005=5FKids in car=5F2=5F300=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <P align=3Dcen=
ter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3Dteal size=3D5=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E=
<P align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3Dteal size=3D5=3E</F=
ONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3D#008=
080 size=3D5=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic San=
s MS' color=3D#008080 size=3D5=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT=
 face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3D#008080 size=3D5=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P alig=
n=3Dcenter=3E=A0</P=3E<P align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=
=3Dteal size=3D5=3EIn a perfect world=2E=2E=2Echildren on trips would say, '=
Isn't riding in the car fun!' and then they would fall asleep</FONT=3E</P=3E=
<P align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3Dteal=3EJohn Gratton=
</FONT=3E</P=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D'=
#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</blockq=
uote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' n=
owrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/f=
athers/template1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td=
 width=3D578 height=3D12 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://www=2Ebosw=
eb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=3E=
<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-se=
rif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor3'=3E</a=3E<b=3EBeing There</b=3E=
</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'ht=
tp://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue13=
7-11th April,2005=5Fyoung dad=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <P class=3DMsoP=
lainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana=
'=3E<STRONG=3E<FONT color=3Dblue=3EYoung men should be committed<=3Fxml:name=
space prefix =3D o ns =3D 'urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office' /=3E<o:p=
=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</STRONG=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D=
'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT color=3D=
blue size=3D2=3EThe Age, March 1, 2005</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMso=
PlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdan=
a'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DM=
soPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verd=
ana'=3E<FONT color=3Dblue size=3D2=3EYoung men are fleeing parenting because=
 single life looks so good, when it is not, writes Daniel Donahoo=2E</FONT=3E=
</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN=
 style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E<=
/SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SP=
AN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EDamien Foster (25/2) is=
 right about pregnancy and car crashes=2E I didn't make my decision to have =
children until my girlfriend was pregnant=2E But he is wrong to assert that =
the reason young men end the relationship after the crash is because they do=
n't have an equal say in determining the structure of family life=2E</FONT=3E=
</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN=
 style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E<=
/SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SP=
AN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EYoung men don't hang ar=
ound long enough even to find out if they can develop an equal and loving pa=
rtnership with their girlfriend and their new child=2E For men to turn aroun=
d and try to lay the blame on women for their refusal to commit to relations=
hips is symptomatic of the problems with the gender debates=2E This isn't a =
battle=2E Men and women need to work these things out together=2E</FONT=3E</=
SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN s=
tyle=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</S=
PAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN=
 style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EYoung men flee from the l=
ove of pregnant girlfriends and the joy of a lifelong commitment to a new fa=
mily unit because the single lifestyle is sold to us as more appealing=2E In=
 recent weeks on this page, parenthood has been touted as being boring, expe=
nsive and limiting parents' personal desires=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPA=
N=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN styl=
e=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=
=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN st=
yle=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EThe 'freedom' of singledom i=
s lauded as providing the edge in economic advantage=2E It is plastered acro=
ss men and women's magazines=2E The messages are clear=2E Single people are =
more beautiful and happier; every weekend needs to be one big dance party; y=
ou are the most important person in the world=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P c=
lass=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMI=
LY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P=
 class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FA=
MILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EThe rise of individualism has left us with=
 a generation of young people meeting their own needs and desires before any=
one else's=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText =
style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT=
 size=3D2=3EA new family, a committed relationship and the challenge and exu=
berance of parenthood is far less desirable=2E Young men don't want an equal=
 say in relationships because there is very little in society convincing the=
m that they want a relationship to begin with=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SP=
AN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN sty=
le=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EParenting delivers a happines=
s and life experience that a single, consumer-driven life cannot=2E</FONT=3E=
</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN=
 style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E<=
/SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SP=
AN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3ESociety is wrong to del=
iver this message=2E Young men are being hoodwinked by marketers into lookin=
g for happiness in all the wrong places=2E Parenting delivers a happiness an=
d life experience that a single, consumer-driven life cannot=2E</FONT=3E</SP=
AN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN sty=
le=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPA=
N=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN s=
tyle=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EMy first son was three in J=
anuary, and his little brother is 16 months old=2E I couldn't have made a be=
tter decision=2E In many ways, we were fortunate=2E Our family supported our=
 decision=2E They concealed their fears and tried to ignore society's dismal=
 prediction=2E As new experiences and expectations were shared, relationship=
s with our own parents grew and flourished=2E The responsibility that the ne=
w-found circumstances imposed on us helped us reduce debt and opened up empl=
oyment opportunities=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=
=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=
=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText sty=
le=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT si=
ze=3D2=3EBasically, I grew up - something many young men see as a very scary=
 prospect indeed=2E I know, because I did=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D=
'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EIt has been called the Peter Pan s=
yndrome after the boy who didn't want to grow up=2E It is a problem that fur=
ther isolates young men=2E It fuels self-obsession=2E By telling young men t=
hey don't want to grow up, you cement the idea that they shouldn't and don't=
 have to=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText st=
yle=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT s=
ize=3D2=3EThe solution is twofold=2E Young men need to realise they can cont=
ribute more to society than they do now=2E And society must stop stereotypin=
g young men and start entrusting them with responsibility=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D=
'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D=
'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EWe need someone to sell the positi=
ve images of young men back to them=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMso=
PlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdan=
a'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DM=
soPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verd=
ana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EWhile some young men may still be at home and wastin=
g their lives away on Xbox, there are others pursuing worthwhile careers and=
 committing to families and relationships=2E These young men need to be held=
 up as role models=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D=
'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D=
2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D=
'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D=
2=3EThe focus of my life has turned from selfish to selfless=2E I now have f=
ewer choices and so I consider them much more carefully, fully aware that ev=
ery action I take impacts on many people - most often our children=2E It's a=
 perspective that you don't see when your sole concern is yourself=2E Even i=
f you are single, your choices are impacting on many other people=2E</FONT=3E=
</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN=
 style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E<=
/SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SP=
AN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EYoung men can no longer=
 keep moaning that feminism has left them without a role=2E There is a role,=
 but instead of searching for happiness in a string of lust-driven relations=
hips and trying to consume their way to happiness, young men need to commit =
to relationships=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'=
MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=
=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D=
'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D=
2=3EOur society needs to start selling the positives of being a father and a=
 husband=2E Young men need to start to override the mantra from those older =
men who have been selling us the single life as their relationships end in d=
ivorce=2E Young men have the ability to forge a new approach to their relati=
onships with women and children=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P =
class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAM=
ILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EYoung women are looking for it and young me=
n need to come to the commitment party=2E Don't listen to the jaded and cyni=
cal voices of baby boomers who have been there and done that=2E The next gen=
eration can always improve on what has been before=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E=
<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-=
FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E=
<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-=
FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EDaniel Donahoo is a fellow at OzProspect=
, a non-partisan, public policy think tank=2E He is a 27-year-old father of =
two boys=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P=3E=A0</P=3E<br=3E<br=3E=
<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</=
font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</blockquote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E=
<td width=3D578 height=3D13 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://=
www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/ba=
nner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bg=
color=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast=
/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font =
size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E=
<a name=3D'anchor4'=3E</a=3E<b=3ELaughter</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdan=
a' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/=
email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue137-11th April,2005=5Fbearded m=
an=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <H4 style=3D'MARGIN: auto 0cm'=3E<SPAN lan=
g=3DEN-GB style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-no-pr=
oof: no'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast=
-language: EN-US; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: ' AR-SA=
=3F New mso-bidi-font-family: mso-bidi-language: Roman=3F; =3FTimes Times=3E=
</SPAN=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-l=
anguage: EN-US; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: ' AR-SA=3F=
 New mso-bidi-font-family: mso-bidi-language: Roman=3F; =3FTimes Times=3E</S=
PAN=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-lang=
uage: EN-US; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: ' AR-SA=3F N=
ew mso-bidi-font-family: mso-bidi-language: Roman=3F; =3FTimes Times=3E</SPA=
N=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-langua=
ge: EN-US; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: ' AR-SA=3F New=
 mso-bidi-font-family: mso-bidi-language: Roman=3F; =3FTimes Times=3E</SPAN=3E=
<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-language: =
EN-US; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: ' AR-SA=3F New mso=
-bidi-font-family: mso-bidi-language: Roman=3F; =3FTimes Times=3E</SPAN=3E<S=
PAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-language: EN=
-US; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: ' AR-SA=3F New mso-b=
idi-font-family: mso-bidi-language: Roman=3F; =3FTimes Times=3E</SPAN=3E<SPA=
N style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-language: EN-U=
S; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: ' AR-SA=3F New mso-bid=
i-font-family: mso-bidi-language: Roman=3F; =3FTimes Times=3E<H4=3E<P=3E<FON=
T color=3Dmediumblue=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3E</F=
ONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P=3E<FONT =
color=3Dmediumblue=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3E</FON=
T=3E=A0</P=3E<P=3E<FONT color=3D#0000cd=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P=3E<FONT color=
=3D#0000cd=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P=3E=A0</P=3E<P=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3E=
</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P=3E<FO=
NT color=3Dmediumblue=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3E'H=
ey mom,' Sally asked, 'Do men go to heaven, too=3F' <BR=3E<BR=3E'Of course t=
hey do,' responded her mother=2E 'Why do you ask=3F' <BR=3E<BR=3E'Well, I ju=
st never see any pictures of angels with whiskers=2E' <BR=3E<BR=3E'I can ass=
ure you that some men, good men, do go to heaven=2E But, you see, it's a ver=
y close shave=2E' <BR=3E</FONT=3E<BR=3E</P=3E</H4=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</H4=3E=
<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D'#top'=3EBack to=
 top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</blockquote=3E</td=3E<=
/tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D13 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E<img sr=
c=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template=
1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 he=
ight=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/e=
mail=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E=
<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif' color=3Db=
lack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor5'=3E</a=3E<b=3ESpecial Feature</b=3E</font=3E=
<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2E=
bosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue137-11th Apri=
l,2005=5FChurch goers=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <P class=3DMsoPlainText=
 style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<STR=
ONG=3E<FONT size=3D4=3E<FONT color=3Dsaddlebrown=3EMarriage & Fatherhood<=3F=
xml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =3D 'urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office' =
/=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</STRONG=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMs=
oPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verda=
na'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EThe Age, April 17, 2004<SPAN style=3D'mso-tab-count: =
2'=3E=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 </SPAN=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E=
</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt=
'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<SPAN style=3D'm=
so-tab-count: 1'=3E=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 </SPAN=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FON=
T=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<=
SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E=A0</FONT=3E</=
o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E=
<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EWhy won't our church=
 leaders speak up in favour of marriage, asks Bettina Arndt=2E</FONT=3E</SPA=
N=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN styl=
e=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=
=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN st=
yle=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EAre Australian churches too =
cowardly to suggest it is in the best interest of children to have married p=
arents=3F That's the impression I received two years ago when on this page I=
 questioned the wisdom of naming Pat Rafter as Australian of the Year - a te=
nnis icon about to become an unmarried father=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P c=
lass=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMI=
LY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P=
 class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FA=
MILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EAmid the flood of responses, church-goers =
wrote in large numbers about the stony silence of their churches on the subj=
ect=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D=
'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D=
2=3EOne woman mentioned she had just come back from Mass where her priest ha=
d given a long sermon praising Rafter and never mentioned the marriage issue=
=2E 'Are we now too scared to stand up and be counted=3F' she asked, condemn=
ing her church for its lack of moral courage=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPA=
N=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN styl=
e=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E'It is a very strong failure o=
f nerve,' admits the Reverend Robert Forsyth, Anglican bishop of <=3Fxml:nam=
espace prefix =3D st1 ns =3D 'urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags' /=3E=
<st1:place w:st=3D'on'=3ESouth Sydney</st1:place=3E, acknowledging the reluc=
tance of most churches to openly promote marriage for fear of being howled d=
own in a society protective of non-traditional families=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</F=
ONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E=
<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EForsyth mentions tha=
t as a former rector of a large inner-city church, he used to post messages =
on the sign outside the church=2E The only one ever to be defaced said 'stro=
ng marriages prevent poverty'=2E <o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P c=
lass=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMI=
LY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EBut now the writing is on the wall=2E There'=
s now clear evidence that strong marriages protect children not only from po=
verty but from a large range of bad social outcomes=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E=
<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-=
FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E=
<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-=
FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EA <st1:country-region w:st=3D'on'=3E<st1=
:place w:st=3D'on'=3EUS</st1:place=3E</st1:country-region=3E study released =
this month suggests church-based marriage-saver programs have actually succe=
eded in bringing down the divorce rate=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3D=
MsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Ver=
dana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3D=
MsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Ver=
dana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3ESo perhaps the cynics are wrong when they argue<IMG=
 hspace=3D3 src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fima=
ges/fathers=5Fwade%20horn=2Ejpg' align=3Dright vspace=3D3 border=3D0=3E ther=
e's nothing that can be done to stem the drift away from marriage=2E Not onl=
y are these faith-based efforts apparently starting to bite but there's othe=
r good evidence that the Bush Administration's plans to spend heavily on 'he=
althy' marriage initiatives may prove effective, says Dr Wade Horn, the US A=
ssistant Secretary for Children and Families, who is visiting Australia=2E</=
FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E=
<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FON=
T=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E=
<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3ENote the emphasis on=
 'healthy' marriages=2E That's to counter the knee-jerk reaction that marria=
ge initiatives could force women into marriages with violent men=2E Sensibly=
, the <st1:country-region w:st=3D'on'=3E<st1:place w:st=3D'on'=3EUS</st1:pla=
ce=3E</st1:country-region=3E initiatives aim not to coerce anyone into getti=
ng married but to 'help couples who choose marriage for themselves'=2E</FONT=
=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<S=
PAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E=
</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<S=
PAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EWade is convinced that=
 the cultural battle has been won=2E <st1:country-region w:st=3D'on'=3E<st1:=
place w:st=3D'on'=3EAmerica</st1:place=3E</st1:country-region=3E now believe=
s fathers matter to children=2E He suggests that 10 to 15 years ago it was d=
ifferent=2E Fathers then were being seen as 'optional extras' - like a sun r=
oof on a car=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainTex=
t style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FO=
NT size=3D2=3EWade says the research evidence has swung the debate around to=
 the realisation that fathers are more like the fourth wheel of a car: 'With=
out a fourth wheel, you can still move the car down the road, but the ride i=
s far more difficult=2E'</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText styl=
e=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT siz=
e=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText st=
yle=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT s=
ize=3D2=3EWade may be right in concluding that the best hope of keeping the =
fourth wheel is to support married fatherhood=2E As past president of the Na=
tional Fathers Initiative, he has long worked to support non-resident dads b=
ut he's pessimistic about most men's chances of remaining effective, involve=
d fathers in those difficult circumstances=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P clas=
s=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY:=
 Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P cl=
ass=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMIL=
Y: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EFair enough, but the risk is that by shifting=
 all the policy agenda to promoting married fatherhood, we give up on the ba=
ttle to help divorced men achieve this goal=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=
=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=
=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EWade brings a new perspective t=
o the discussion about low-income males found by recent <st1:place w:st=3D'o=
n'=3E<st1:PlaceName w:st=3D'on'=3EMonash</st1:PlaceName=3E <st1:PlaceType w:=
st=3D'on'=3EUniversity</st1:PlaceType=3E</st1:place=3E research to be missin=
g out on partnering=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoP=
lainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana=
'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EThe Monash researchers suggested the answer lies in inc=
reasing job opportunities=2E Horn reports there's zero evidence that increas=
ing economic opportunities for these men leads to more marriage, but that a =
more direct approach can work, as is being found in programs encouraging low=
-income men paying child support to consider marriage=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</=
P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'F=
ONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D=
'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EBoth in the <st1:country-region w:=
st=3D'on'=3EUS</st1:country-region=3E and in <st1:country-region w:st=3D'on'=
=3E<st1:place w:st=3D'on'=3EAustralia</st1:place=3E</st1:country-region=3E, =
more children grow up without fathers through being born out of wedlock - to=
 single women or women in cohabiting relationships - than through divorce=2E=
 Horn suggests it is possible to change this pattern through a new cultural =
message=2E He makes a comparison with teenage pregnancy rates, which in the =
<st1:country-region w:st=3D'on'=3E<st1:place w:st=3D'on'=3EUS</st1:place=3E<=
/st1:country-region=3E have fallen like a stone over the past decade as a re=
sult of a concerted societal message that it's a bad idea for teens to have =
children=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText st=
yle=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT s=
ize=3D2=3EAnd how would we in <st1:country-region w:st=3D'on'=3E<st1:place w=
:st=3D'on'=3EAustralia</st1:place=3E</st1:country-region=3E convince people =
to avoid out-of-wedlock child-rearing=3F Target the men, suggests Wade=2E<o:=
p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN:=
 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E'We =
need to tell men the truth=2E That if you father a child out of wedlock, the=
 odds are that by the time your child turns 16, you will not have a relation=
ship with that child=2E' But you'll still be paying child support, we might =
add=2E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0=
cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o=
:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm=
 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EIt makes=
 sense=2E The number of out-of-wedlock births may well plummet if we could c=
onvince men that fathering in these circumstances is a hiding to nothing=2E =
But where are the Australian politicians - and the church leaders - prepared=
 to spread this message=3F</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText st=
yle=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT s=
ize=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText =
style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT=
 size=3D2=3EBettina Arndt is a staff writer=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=
=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=
=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<A href=3D'mailto:opinion@theag=
e=2Ecom=2Eau'=3Eopinion@theage=2Ecom=2Eau</A=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<br=3E=
<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D'#top'=3EBack to top</=
a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</blockquote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E=
<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D13 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E<img src=3D'h=
ttp://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Gene=
ric/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D=
25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5F=
blast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<=
font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif' color=3Dblack=3E=
<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor6'=3E</a=3E<b=3ESingle dads</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D=
'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Eco=
m=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue137-11th April,2005=5FFa=
mily abstract=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D=
'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<STRONG=3E<FO=
NT color=3Dindigo=3ELast Night I Had a Passenger<=3Fxml:namespace prefix =3D=
 o ns =3D 'urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office' /=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FON=
T=3E</STRONG=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0=
cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3ETony Mille=
r<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MAR=
GIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E<FONT size=
=3D2=3E=A0</FONT=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'M=
ARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E=
I'm tired=2E Last night I had just driven from <=3Fxml:namespace prefix =3D =
st1 ns =3D 'urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags' /=3E<st1:place w:st=3D=
'on'=3E<st1:PlaceName w:st=3D'on'=3ECoffs</st1:PlaceName=3E <st1:PlaceType w=
:st=3D'on'=3EHarbour</st1:PlaceType=3E</st1:place=3E to hold a DIDs (Dads in=
 Distress) meeting in Forster and returned early hours of the morning=2E I a=
m on the road a lot=2E My car is my office, often it's also my dressing room=
 and often it's my bedroom=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=
=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: =
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ss=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY=
: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EOften on the long hauls I find myself talking =
to a very special passenger=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=
=3EMy Lord, my Higher Power if you like=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=
=A0 </SPAN=3EI find him sitting there right next to me and I often just talk=
 to him as I would talk to a mate=2E It is nice being able to bounce ideas, =
talk about life, talk about anything and to not have someone return with an =
answer=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EJust to listen, no=
t judge or adjudicate=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EBut=
 just to be there, just to listen=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 =
</SPAN=3EPretty much like we do in a DIDs meeting=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-space=
run: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EOften I talk to him about the men who have just sha=
red their stories with me=2E Often I ask for his help=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-s=
pacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EThe miles seem to flitter away and before I kno=
w it I have arrived safely at my destination=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: =
yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EOften I get caught up in the conversation, pouring out m=
y inner feelings to him that I forget where I am=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacer=
un: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EOften I find myself sitting in the car at a set of l=
ights rattling off my thoughts out loud to my passenger, when I suddenly rea=
lise that I am being stared at from the vehicles on either side of me, who a=
re no doubt wondering why I am talking to this empty seat=2E<SPAN style=3D'm=
so-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EI quickly fumble for my mobile phone and ho=
ld it up smiling at both vehicles as if to show at least I have not gone com=
pletely mad=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EI love my pas=
senger and as much as it's nice to have other passengers, I also look forwar=
d to my times with my special passenger=2E <o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D=
'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E=A0</FONT=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D=
'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EWhen I arrive home, I fumble for t=
he light switch in the dark, I step on a discarded toy my nine year old left=
 behind=2E The light goes on and I'm home and as my eyes focus on the room, =
there's a t-shirt here, a sock there, a bunch of toys over there and a drawi=
ng of me by my boy=2E All the remnants of a weekend with my boy, all that's =
left for the next two weeks, until I get to see him again=2E My passenger is=
 still with me and he sees what I see and I say goodnight and thank him for =
the safe trip=2E <o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainT=
ext style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<=
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nText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E=
<FONT size=3D2=3EUntil next time<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0=A0 <=
/SPAN=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=
=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=
=3D2=3ETony Miller DIDs<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMso=
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P=3E<P=3E=A0</P=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D=
'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</block=
quote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D13 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' =
nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/=
fathers/template1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<t=
d width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://www=2Ebos=
web=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=
=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans=
-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor7'=3E</a=3E<b=3EThought for t=
he Week</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<=
img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fath=
ers=5Fissue137-11th April,2005=5Fcamping=5Ffamily=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</di=
v=3E <SPAN lang=3DEN-AU style=3D'mso-bidi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT color=
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n=3Dcenter=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt' =
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</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt' align=3Dcenter=3E=
<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3Ddarkslateblue size=3D4=3E</FONT=3E=A0</=
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FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3Ddarkslateblue size=3D4=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=
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 a point to take <BR=3Ethe whole family out </FONT=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic San=
s MS' color=3Ddarkslateblue size=3D4=3Eand spend time<BR=3E travelling or ca=
mping together =2E =2E =2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MA=
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kslateblue size=3D4=3EI think that time we spent together<BR=3E has had a lo=
t to do </FONT=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3Ddarkslateblue size=3D4=
=3Ewith <BR=3Eour close relationship as a family today=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P c=
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nsi-language: FR'=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-=
font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 11pt=
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<SPAN class=3Darticleheadline=3E<FONT color=3Dchocolate size=3D3=3E<STRONG=3E=
Australian men and women want children</STRONG=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E=
</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARG=
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<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt;=
 mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<SPAN class=3Darticleheadline=3E<STRONG=3E<FONT co=
lor=3Dchocolate size=3D2=3ERead Kate Legge's article 'Australians Born Lucky=
'<BR=3E</FONT=3E</STRONG=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</SP=
AN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN lang=3D=
FR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-lan=
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ont-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Dindianred=3E<SPAN=
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<STRONG=3E<FONT color=3Dmaroon size=3D1=3E<A href=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ec=
om=2Eau/email=5Fblast/rr=2Easp=3Fs=3D3108&v=3D55&c=3D21&u=3Dhttp://www=2Ethe=
australian=2Enews=2Ecom=2Eau/common/story=5Fpage/0,5744,12797425%5E28737,00=2E=
html'=3Ehttp://www=2Etheaustralian=2Enews=2Ecom=2Eau/common/story=5Fpage/0,5=
744,12797425%5E28737,00=2Ehtml</A=3E</FONT=3E</STRONG=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</=
SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=
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R style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-lang=
uage: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Dindianred=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: =
Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3D=
indianred=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT co=
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<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT color=3D#00000=
0=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E=
0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Dindianred=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR styl=
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FR'=3E<SPAN class=3Darticleheadline=3E<FONT color=3D#003333=3E<FONT size=3D3=
=3E<STRONG=3E<FONT color=3Dmaroon=3EQuarterly Essay</FONT=3E</STRONG=3E is p=
leased to invite you to a special event at Gleebooks as John Hirst discusses=
 his controversial essay 'Kangaroo Court': The Family Court in Australia=2E<=
BR=3E<BR=3EDate: Wednesday 13th April<BR=3ETime: 6=2E30 for 7pm<BR=3EVenue: =
Gleebooks, 49 Glebe Point Road, Glebe<BR=3ECost: $9/$6 conc=2E gleeclub welc=
ome<BR=3ETo book: please phone 02 9660 2333 or email </FONT=3E<A title=3Dmai=
lto:events@gleebooks=2Ecom=2Eau href=3D'mailto:events@gleebooks=2Ecom=2Eau'=3E=
<FONT size=3D3=3Eevents@gleebooks=2Ecom=2Eau</FONT=3E</A=3E<BR=3E<BR=3E<FONT=
 size=3D3=3ETo find out more information about 'Kangaroo Court' or the Quart=
erly Essay series, please visit our website at </FONT=3E<A href=3D'http://ww=
w=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/rr=2Easp=3Fs=3D3108&v=3D55&c=3D21&u=3Dht=
tp://www=2Equarterlyessay=2Ecom'=3E<FONT size=3D3=3Ewww=2Equarterlyessay=2Ec=
om</FONT=3E</A=3E<BR=3E<FONT size=3D3=3E=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
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=5F=5F=5F=5F</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E<=
/SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=
=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; ms=
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dline=3E<IMG hspace=3D0 src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/=
client=5Fimages/fathers=5FDads%20&%20Kids%20April-May%2005=2Ejpg' align=3Dab=
sMiddle border=3D0=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E<=
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'=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E=
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e=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: =
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e: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3D#003333 size=3D3=3E<SPAN=
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=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F</STRONG=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPA=
N=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-=
FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<SPA=
N lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso=
-ansi-language: FR'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E=
<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt;=
 mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso=
-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumorch=
id size=3D3=3E<SPAN class=3Darticleheadline=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'=
MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<BR=3E<STRONG=3ELetters</STRONG=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMs=
oPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verda=
na'=3E<=3Fxml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =3D 'urn:schemas-microsoft-com:offic=
e:office' /=3E<o:p=3E<FONT color=3D#000000 size=3D2=3E=A0</FONT=3E</o:p=3E</=
SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN s=
tyle=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<FONT color=3D#000000=3EDea=
r Fatherhood Foundation<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P cl=
ass=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMIL=
Y: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E<FONT color=3D#000000 size=3D2=3E=A0</FONT=3E</o:p=3E</=
SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN s=
tyle=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<FONT color=3D#000000=3EWal=
-Mart is a sales success story and a social nightmare=2E It employs people o=
n low part time wages with no good medical benefits, no security=2E<SPAN sty=
le=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EIt negatively impacts local small bu=
sinesses, it lied to Mexican market women and temple users and went ahead wi=
th a huge store near a sacred site=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0=
 </SPAN=3EI could go on and on=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </S=
PAN=3EYes I agree their marketing is cunning - Just like Big Mac and Coke et=
c=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EBy the way the source o=
f your article about boys from fatherless homes likely to commit rape seems =
false=2E=2E=2Esee below=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EI=
 support you but I support accuracy=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</SPA=
N=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN styl=
e=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<FONT color=3D#000000=3Echeers=
<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText styl=
e=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT siz=
e=3D2=3E<FONT color=3D#000000=3EPip<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D=
'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E<FONT color=3D#000000 size=3D2=3E=A0</FONT=3E=
</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=
=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<FONT color=3D#00=
0000=3ETo give one detailed example, the claim that 'Boys from a fatherless =
homes are 14 times more likely to commit rape' was part of the '12 Point Pla=
n' released by the National Fatherhood Forum in June 2003=2E The assertion w=
as highlighted in media coverage of the Fatherhood Forum and it is one of th=
e claims commonly made by those who argue for the destructive effects of fat=
her absence on families and society=2E Yet this statistic is an invention=2E=
 And although it has no basis in fact, it is regularly repeated on the websi=
tes of men's and fathers' rights, child custody and conservative Christian g=
roups such as the Australian Men's Network=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E=
</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN=
 style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E<FONT color=3D#000000 size=3D2=3E=A0=
</FONT=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm=
 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<FONT co=
lor=3D#000000=3ETo assess the claim's accuracy, its origin must first be det=
ermined=2E The National Fatherhood Forum's '12 Point Plan' cites Rex McCann'=
s On Their Own: Boys growing up under-fathered (2000, p=2E 47)=2E McCann cit=
es a fathers' rights newsletter on the Internet=2E The relevant article in t=
his newsletter cites an American men's newsletter, Getting Men Involved: The=
 Newsletter of the Bay Area Male Involvement Network (Spring 1997)=2E The st=
atistics themselves are attributed to a 1994 email message by Marty Dart=2E<=
SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EIt is here finally that we s=
ee how this 'statistic' was constructed=2E The text states, '80% of rapists =
motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal =
Justice and Behavior, Vol 14, p=2E 403-26, 1978=2E)' It then goes on to stat=
e, 'These statistics translate to mean that children from a fatherless home =
are: =2E=2E=2E 14 times more likely to commit rape'=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E=
</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt=
'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E<FONT color=3D#000000 size=
=3D2=3E=A0</FONT=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'M=
ARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E=
<FONT color=3D#000000=3EThe 'boys are 14 times more likely' statistic was th=
us constructed from the finding in a 1987 journal article on typologies of r=
ape that 80 per cent of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fat=
herless homes=2E There are six problems with the statistical extrapolation b=
eing performed here=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P cla=
ss=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY=
: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E<FONT color=3D#000000 size=3D2=3E=A0</FONT=3E</o:p=3E</S=
PAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN st=
yle=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<FONT color=3D#000000=3EFirs=
t, '80 per cent of rapists' does not translate into boys being '14 times mor=
e likely'=2E In 1985, approximately 20 per cent of children aged 0-17 in the=
 <=3Fxml:namespace prefix =3D st1 ns =3D 'urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:s=
marttags' /=3E<st1:country-region w:st=3D'on'=3E<st1:place w:st=3D'on'=3EUS<=
/st1:place=3E</st1:country-region=3E lived with a single mother (Sigle-Rusht=
on and McLanahan 2002, p=2E 54)=2E If children from fatherless homes were pr=
oportionately represented among rapists, then they should be 20 per cent of =
the population of rapists=2E So if 80 per cent of rapists motivated with dis=
placed anger come from fatherless homes, then children from fatherless homes=
 are four, not 14, times more likely to commit (this type of) rape=2E In e-m=
ail correspondence, Marty Dart, the author of the original figures, himself =
acknowledged that the numbers appear faulty =2E =2E =2E =2E <o:p=3E</o:p=3E<=
/FONT=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm=
 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E<FONT color=3D#000=
000 size=3D2=3E=A0</FONT=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText st=
yle=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT s=
ize=3D2=3E<FONT color=3D#000000=3EFor further research: www=2Etai=2Eorg=2Eau=
/Publications=5FFiles/DP=5FFiles/DP59suma=2Epdf <o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</FO=
NT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E=
<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E<FONT color=3D#000000 size=3D2=
=3E=A0</FONT=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGI=
N: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<F=
ONT color=3D#000000=3E<STRONG=3EEditor=92s Note:</STRONG=3E<SPAN style=3D'ms=
o-spacerun: yes'=3E<STRONG=3E=A0</STRONG=3E </SPAN=3EIt might be noted that =
Wal-Mart is now a second generation company=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: y=
es'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EIt is rare for the second generation to do as well as the=
 first=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EWhen we researched=
 Sam Walton=92s story we found several websites dedicated to criticism of th=
e flourishing Wal-Mart empire=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SP=
AN=3EUndoubtedly Wal-Mart is not perfect but neither is any other company or=
 family or father this side of eternity=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=
=A0 </SPAN=3EWe have done stories on John Howard, Mark Latham, famous sporti=
ng heroes, Mahatma Gandhi and ordinary people, and been criticised for most =
of them=2E The truth is that none of these fathers have been perfect so, =91=
eat the meat but throw out the bones=92=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E<=
/SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN =
style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<o:p=3E<FONT color=3D#000000 size=3D2=3E=A0=
</FONT=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm=
 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<FONT co=
lor=3D#000000=3ERegarding the statistics on fatherless boys being 14 times m=
ore likely to commit rape, Michael Flood=92s discussion paper on =91Fatherho=
od and fatherlessness=92 with the Australia Institute is available at <A hre=
f=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/rr=2Easp=3Fs=3D3108&v=3D55=
&c=3D21&u=3Dhttp://www=2Etai=2Eorg=2Eau/Publications=5FFiles/DP=5FFiles/DP59=
suma=2Epdf'=3Ewww=2Etai=2Eorg=2Eau/Publications=5FFiles/DP=5FFiles/DP59suma=2E=
pdf</A=3E<BR=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMs=
oPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verda=
na'=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<FONT color=3D#000000=3EMichael has done some excelle=
nt research for which we are most grateful because we too are interested in =
accuracy=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EIn fact the only=
 delay to reprinting our 12pt Plan in a revised and corrected form is a lack=
 of available funds (Want to help us=3F)<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=
=A0 </SPAN=3EWhilst we appreciate Michael=92s specific criticism of this one=
 statistic, we agree with his observation from the same figures that childre=
n from fatherless homes are four times more likely to commit rape=2E<SPAN st=
yle=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EThis figure is backed up by researc=
hers at the National Fatherhood Initiative in the <st1:country-region w:st=3D=
'on'=3E<st1:place w:st=3D'on'=3EUSA</st1:place=3E</st1:country-region=3E=2E =
To quote from the research notes at the back of the fourth edition of the Fa=
ther Facts book by Dr Wade Horn and Tom Sylvester =A9 2002 www=2Efatherhood=2E=
org<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0=A0 </SPAN=3E=91In real life, one =
cannot separate the many contributions fathers provide from the fathers them=
selves, especially when much of what fathers contribute is unique and irrepl=
aceable =2E =2E =2E If our society cares about its children, we must recogni=
se the importance of married fatherhood=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=
=A0 </SPAN=3EAnd we must reduce the high levels of fatherlessness that bode =
ill for our children and our nation=92s future=92=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E=
</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E=
</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E</FO=
NT=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a =
href=3D'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E=
</blockquote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D13 bgcolor=3D'#f=
fffff' nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/tem=
plates/fathers/template1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<=
tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://ww=
w=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=
=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetic=
a, sans-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor9'=3E</a=3E<b=3EDad's =
Prayer</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<i=
mg src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fathe=
rs=5Fissue137-11th April,2005=5Ffamily on beach=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E=
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LY: Arial'=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D4=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZ=
E: 13=2E5pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU=3E=
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EN-AU=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU=3E<FONT=
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t' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3Ddarkmagenta size=3D=
5=3EDear God</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm =
0pt' align=3Dcenter=3E<=3Fxml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =3D 'urn:schemas-mic=
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=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=
=3Ddarkmagenta size=3D5=3EHelp me to be fun to be with=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P c=
lass=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT fac=
e=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3Ddarkmagenta size=3D5=3EHelp me to slow down and<=
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center=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3Ddarkmagenta size=3D5=3Ego on t=
rips with my family=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN=
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'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3D=
darkmagenta size=3D5=3Epressure my children too much,</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=
=3DMsoPlainText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D=
'Comic Sans MS' color=3Ddarkmagenta size=3D5=3EBut always inspire them to</F=
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nter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' color=3Ddarkmagenta size=3D5=3Eaccept an=
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RONG=3E</FONT=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EThe Fatherhood Foundati=
on is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspi=
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ting them, thereby renewing and empowering families=2E</FONT=3E<FONT face=3D=
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